Oh. I see.
You've been struggling with porn and looking at anime girls because they're limitless of what you can do with and to their body. Including having obnoxiously large breasts.
You've been struggling not staring at other girls that are dressed slutty.
Oh. I want to be nice and take you to a convention with me, something almost sacred to me because it's just that special, and you want to stare at the hot girls with barely nothing covered or their tits and ass hanging out. Of course, I don't blame you. I'm just sitting over here crossplaying as a male. Like usual.
"I have primal instincts. I'm trying to fight against my human instincts to be attracted to all of this."
Believe it or not, I, too, have primal instincts. I am physically attracted to men like Chris Evans and Hugh Jackman all ripped up for the role of Wolverine.
There are guys walking by me every day. Even at the con, guys that are well...let's face it....hot are there. But I've been everywhere. and not ONCE have I taken a second glance at them thinking, "Wow, they're hot. I wish I was with them."
That's a slap to the face.
"I'm trying to fight my human instincts..."
So, me, as part of the female species, am not enough to keep your attention away from sexier women.
So little old me; flat chested, wavy-haired, crossbreed of Asian and German/Irish, who has done anything and everything for you. Who has gone through thick and thin. Who tutored you in Junior year of high school. Gave you relationship advice. Gave you help. Gave you comfort. Relief.
Despite everything I do to make up for what I have physically.
I am nothing.
I knew it was foolish for me to ever love again.